watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
