margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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