my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
