I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
