it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Randomize
