My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
