Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
