Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize