Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
