I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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