She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
