You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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