I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
