i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
