Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
