I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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