im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
