dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Send help, water and tortillas.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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