In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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