Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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