Who did Billy Mays play for?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
