is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
4 words: hood of his car
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
