You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
