Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize