I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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