...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
