so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
