haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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