Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
