I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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