Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad

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(513): View more from Ohio

You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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(716): View more from New York

Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.

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