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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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