I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so let's talk penis.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
