I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
