Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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