quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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