why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
