we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
