remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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