I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
