walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
