Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
