I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
