if you like me you must not know who I am
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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