I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
