dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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