And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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