you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
