Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
as a side note pls kill me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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