I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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