Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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