she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
