CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
