They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
