the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
