Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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