Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
either way he was missing a nipple.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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