Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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