It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
vagina is talking i cant
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
