Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize