Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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