You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
